Asking the person you betrayed to participate in your recovery as an accountability partner is a bad idea. Someone new to betrayal trauma healing recently expressed her frustration with managing…
Detaching from your sex addict can be challenging, but it is necessary for your healing. Detachment is usually suggested under the assumption that the betrayed partner is codependent or lacks…
Sharing the truth regarding your addiction in the form of a disclosure can seem scary because you can’t control your partner’s reaction or response. You have no idea if your…
One of the most common questions betrayed partners ask that drives me crazy! But I get it. “How long will it take my partner to be sober and completely recovered…
I used to hear people talk about living the Recovery Lifestyle in one of the support groups I attended, and I wondered what on earth they were talking about. Did…
Have you considered your 2026 healing goals yet? Just as we set professional, health, spiritual, and other goals, I believe establishing your 2026 healing goals is equally important. If I…
In keeping with the spirit of the season, I wanted to share what I appreciate about my husband’s recovery efforts. I know this may sound crazy, after all, I usually…
Deciding to heal from betrayal trauma and what to do about your relationship with the sex addict takes a great deal of courage. Yet, we often fail to recognize the…
I’ve written about the value of a support group in the past, but I want to examine the benefits of connection when you go beyond attending a support group. For…
Some addicts ask what they can do to encourage the partner they’ve betrayed to trust them again. The answer is complicated, but I believe safety is one of the most…
What does it mean to live in reality when you are healing from betrayal trauma? Does it mean crying and screaming every day? Berating your partner daily or ignoring your…
For those of us who still give cards for occasions such as birthdays, Father’s Day, anniversaries, Valentine’s Day, etc., deciding on an appropriate card for our recovering sex addict can…
Some of us find ourselves dealing with the shame of staying in a relationship with a recovering sex addict quite confusing. If we’re being honest, it’s this shame that can…
There is nothing funny about healing from the pain caused by a sex addict but allowing yourself to experience laughter or a smile along the way can be incredibly helpful.…
For me, the Bill of Rights was something to learn about to earn a good grade in school. I knew about Civil and Women’s Rights, but the Bill of Rights…
We all know positive self-talk is crucial for self-esteem and emotional well-being. However, it’s even more critical when one is healing from betrayal trauma because it can impact how one…
I’ve witnessed many women come to support groups with one burning question, “What will it take to fix him so our life can get back to normal?” Don’t we wish…
How do you define “acceptable” or “unacceptable” behavior when interacting with your sex addict? Many of my blog entries refer to “acceptable” and “unacceptable” behavior, assuming readers have clarified this…
When partners begin their healing journey, they usually experience shock, disappointment, emotional distress, or possibly PTSD. With time, these betrayal trauma symptoms decrease. Partners tend to evolve into their best…
Do you ever feel stuck in your healing process? If you answered “yes,” please know it’s not uncommon. Whether you feel stuck in your healing or your relationship with the…
The faith community can be the foundation for one’s healing from sex addiction or betrayal trauma, leading them to seek counsel from their pastors, preachers, clergy, cardinals, priestesses, bishop, rabbis, reverends,…
Intentional healing can also be considered a mindset that drives one to heal well or not at all. The healing efforts are worth it because of the benefits. If one…
When I think of intentional healing as it relates to betrayal trauma, I think of deliberate actions and plans one chooses in preparation to move on in one’s life healthily. …
If you want to be in a relationship with someone who knows you’re a recovering sex addict, honesty is not optional, it’s essential. This may seem like an obvious expectation, but…
When it comes to betrayal trauma healing, journaling isn’t just writing to be writing. Journaling is a way to explore your doubts, emotions, and pain. Thankfully, this tool can be…
Some sex addicts don’t understand why their partners repeatedly ask the same questions after receiving the truth through disclosure or confession. I mean, it was a big deal for you…
I will never stop saying healing from betrayal trauma is challenging and requires much work for the betrayed partner to heal well. It has been one of the most difficult…
When I first realized my husband was a sex addict, I bought many books, read all I could find online, and studied my materials from the groups I attended to…
Everyone told me the healing journey would take a lot of work which I interpreted as climbing a mountain without breaks, water, or rest. If hard work is what it…
*I refer to the addict as a male in this post for consistency. One of the most complex components of sex addiction I had to grasp was accepting sexaholism as…
This month’s Tool of the Month is Dance Aerobics. Before you roll your eyes or ask, seriously? Please hang in there with me before you conclude this blog entry is…
February is the month for celebrating love, which is a worthy recognition. However, I think it’s even more critical for those healing from betrayal trauma to celebrate self-love. After all,…
January 31st marks the first anniversary of Betrayed, Not Broken. I am so grateful for the readers, especially those who expressed appreciation for their validation. God’s grace and a dear…
What I hope for each of you this year! Welcome to 2023! How have your first two weeks been thus far? Whether or not you want it, time keeps moving,…
IS THIS BLOG FOR YOU? If a sex addict has betrayed you, whether you are still in the relationship or not, this blog may be for you. You may have…
My husband and I used to watch porn together occasionally when we dated in college, and I thought it was just a dumb and stupid thing all guys did, so…
How is your journaling coming along? As we approach October, let’s examine our healing fears. What fears are you juggling as you heal from betrayal trauma? What fears do you have regarding your own healing journey? If your partner is still in the picture, what fears do you have for your partner? I think you will find writing about your worries may help you see them in a different light.
May Journal Prompt:
How can you be easier on yourself this month as you continue to help from betrayal trauma?
Self-Care Challenge:
Make a list of ten affirmations you can say to yourself daily.
April Journaling Prompt:
What puts a smile on your face despite what you may be going through?
March Journal Prompt:
What do you appreciate the most thus far about your healing journey?
Self-care Challenge:
Do something this month that makes you smile.
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