Tools for Healing: Meditation

Different things might come to mind when people hear “meditation.” For example, a highly spiritual person on top of a mountain meditating in the sun, a yoga fanatic, a hippy, a drug user, or someone who doesn’t believe in God.  So, I challenge you to hang in there with me on this topic, and if you still decide meditation isn’t for you, that’s fine; this is just a tool from my tool bag others may be more appealing.  You have choices!

Merriam-Webster defines meditation as “contemplating or reflection, to engage in mental exercise (such as concentration on one’s breathing or repetition of a mantra) to reach a heightened level of spiritual awareness.” I define it as concentration on the present state to improve relaxation, consciousness, and connection with God or something greater than yourself.  I see meditation and diaphragmatic breathing or belly breathing as two practices that complement each other.  Both calm the body and the mind.  I talked about breathing last month, so I will highlight meditation in this post.  However, I encourage you to try both to see if you have a preference.

I was apprehensive about the future, experiencing PTSD, raising my kids, keeping the house clean, seeing a therapist, attending healing groups, going to the gym, interacting with friends, and maintaining other church/community commitments while healing from trauma.  I needed an escape from the insanity, and meditation seemed like a logical tool I could use.  I had just learned the importance of focusing on my breath, and I could see how that was helping my anxiety.  Furthermore, I was in so much pain initially that I was willing to seek different tools to help me heal and ease the pain I was experiencing.  I didn’t care about stereotypes of “those people do (fill in the blank) – not me” or “I can’t do  (fill in the blank) because I am  (fill in the blanks).  I was willing to educate myself about meditation or anything else if it could help me heal.  

I wanted to try different meditations to see what fit me.    My quest began with purchasing recorded meditations that dealt with specific topics, such as PTSD, Anxiety, Healing from Trauma, and Stress Relief.  I’ve always been a visual person, so it was easy for me to listen to the recorded meditations and visualize whatever the moderator asked me to imagine.  After getting comfortable with those recordings, I started practicing meditation with background music or recorded nature sounds I found on the internet.  Then,  I focused on one-word themes such as “release,  love, peace, or joy.” Eventually,  I participated in a weekly meditation group guided by a facilitator. 

After experimenting with different meditations, I decided I preferred recorded mediations that deal with specific topics.  My second preference was to meditate in silence, focusing on my breath.  Third, I downloaded some meditations to access them quickly from anywhere.  Finally, my children got to the point where they knew not to disturb me when they saw me praying or meditating.

There are so many meditation options available.  There are free apps or apps for purchase, free meditations on YouTube,  books or cards you can buy with mediations or reflections to read, Meditation groups, Meditation classes, or mediation prompts.  I usually read the books or cards and then meditate on what I just read in silence or with background music playing.  Sometimes, I google meditations about whatever I am wrestling with on a particular day.  There are also yoga classes than incorporate meditative reflections at the end of the session.

Many people say they don’t have time to meditate.  The nice thing about meditation is that you can meditate for five minutes to two hours.  There are no rules indicating you must meditate for a certain amount of time to receive the benefits.  Although, I have found that the longer I meditate, the better the benefits.  I think it’s good to start with a short amount of time and build up.  I view it as an essential part of my emotional and mental health, so if that means I only have five minutes, it’s five minutes!  I have meditated in the dry sauna at my gym, bedroom, living room, yoga studio, deck, airplane, and car (as a passenger).  Although some places have been better than others, I don’t let location hinder me once I decide to meditate.  Regardless of how busy you are, you can give yourself five minutes.  Pick up that phone, go to google and seek out five-minute mediations and you are ready to go.

I also incorporated other things into my meditation practice that enhanced the experience.  For example, I used to journal after I meditated and still do because I find you can be so honest with yourself in journaling after you’ve meditated.  As a result, my writing flows, and my thoughts are clear.  I also diffuse essential oils sometimes when I meditate to enhance the environment.  For example, my living room isn’t as dark as I would like  ( I like the atmosphere to be completely dark), so I use sleep masks.  I also enjoy wrapping myself in a blanket sometimes when I meditate.  There is something about meditating in a blanket that makes me feel safe.

Sadly, it takes getting still and meditating to remind me that a higher authority controls the universe and that authority is more equipped for the job than me.  It is easier to let God be God in my life when I sit still and meditate;  I feel loved, protected, and secure.  Meditation is not just a healing tool to help me recover from my husband’s betrayals; it’s a healing tool to help me deal with life.  A friend once told me that when we pray, we make our request to God, but when we meditate, we get to listen to him.  

I intentionally use meditation to reflect on the healing blessings I’ve enjoyed, not the betrayals that brought me to the blessings.  Meditation is not the time to beat me up; it’s a time to refresh and soothe myself.  Meditation is my time to escape the chaos, challenges, and stresses to seek the calm I need to exist regardless of what is happening around me.  Meditation is a time to fill up with goodness, love, assurance, peace, calm, wisdom, and gratitude – there is no room for negativity

Ironically, I rarely thought of my husband when I began meditating.  I tried to use meditation to focus on my body, mind, spirit, emotional health, and feeling closer to God.   The goal of meditation was to stay calm, and it was several years before I could think of my husband in meditation and remain calm.  When I finally got to a place where I was ready to begin the forgiveness process, I could finally think of my husband while meditating.   I was emotionally healthy enough to reflect on my husband, seeing him as a sick person trying to stay well. 

Currently, I  am struggling to meditate as much as I used to because I started a full-time job, but writing this blog entry has convicted me.  I am more irritated, struggle to relax, and am more anxious about everything when I don’t meditate.  What started as a healing tool from the trauma my husband’s behavior caused has become a “Tool for Life” for me.

I listed some books in the Helpful Tools section of the blog, both secular and faith-based, but here are a few of my favorites.  I am not doing affiliate links right now, but you can search these resources on the internet:

The Language of Letting Go (DEVOTIONAL) by Melody Beattie

Daily Affirmations for Forgiving and Moving On (DEVOTIONAL) by Tian Dayton, Ph.D.

Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence by Sarah Young

Other:

I started using Health Journeys mediations.  I purchased the meditations by Belleruth Naparstek and downloaded them onto my phone.

Calm app

Abide app

Headspace app

I would love to know what recommendations you may have to share.  I am certainly not an expert; I am just sharing what has been helpful to me.