TOOL OF THE MONTH:

NATURE…a worthy refuge

There are physical, mental, and emotional benefits to experiencing nature, especially if you are healing from betrayal trauma.  My house backs up to the wilderness, so it has been my “refuge” for years, one I still use to relax, reflect, and restore.  For others, it might be a beach, mountain, river, desert, or trail, even if you have to drive to a location to experience nature.  Regardless of the site, being in nature can be a great option when one needs calm.  I am far from a tree hugger but sitting on the deck observing nature brought me great comfort when I needed it most.

There is always something to view in nature.  One can admire the swaying of the trees, birds flying above, and the clear sky.  Looking at the sea of leaves and noticing hints of yellow, orange, and red can hold your attention.  I struggle with being present, but admiring nature is one of the few things that makes this easier for me.

The physical sensations of nature made me feel alive and alert.  Sometimes I could also feel the wind on my body.  Other times I could feel the beam of the sun, noticing the warmth while looking up to the sky to see the yellow radiance above me.  I even welcomed the raindrops that would sprinkle on my body.  These touches reminded me there was a power greater than myself.  I didn’t have to possess all the answers to the concerns that were giving me anxiety.

I experienced a heightened sense of hearing when listening to the sounds around me.  It was as if I could hear my breathing clearer like one does when using a stethoscope to listen to the heart—hearing my breathing clearer made it easier for me to focus and calm down.  I also noticed other sounds such as birds singing, whistling of the wind, children playing, and chirping insects.  The fact that I could make such an observation at challenging moments was a blessing to me.

Even the smells of nature were impactful.  I could smell flowers which improved my mood, not to mention they are visually appealing.  The essence of a rose, a citrus tree, or herbs always made me smile.  I even welcomed the smells of others barbequing, although it made me hungry at the time or the smell of fresh-cut lawns.

The emotional benefits of being in nature weren’t something I expected to experience.  At the beginning of my journey, my mind was constantly racing with details from the disclosure my husband gave me, concerns about the future, and intrusive thoughts.  As a result, I experienced an array of emotions I couldn’t manage.  I wanted to scream, cry, and physically beat something.  I needed to release these emotions healthily.  I could journal, hit something, cry, self-hug, or shake while sitting on my deck.  This release helped me feel calmer and more settled, allowing me to focus on breathing or take in the view.  Being in nature was about releasing my negative feelings, replacing them with a sense of calm, hope, and peace.

Nature offered an escape I could enjoy as often as needed.  Fortunately, my escape from chaos was just a few steps away from my kitchen to my deck.  I felt like I was stepping into a different location, not an extension of my house.  I enjoyed praying, meditating, breathing, journaling, reading, and relaxing on my deck.  I know it sounds simplistic, but when all hell broke loose in my life, this was the most practical “refuge” I had. 

I did not realize it then, but this “refuge” helped me spiritually.  I could see God’s handiwork in the trees, sky, birds, etc., and think to myself, If God can create all of this, he can surely help me heal.  This acknowledgment was so comforting, enabling me to adjust my mindset.  Although uncertainty loomed in the air, I could feel my spirit fill up with hope for my healing journey.

I experienced mental benefits as well.  Detaching from fixating on the past and the future became easier, decreasing my anxiety.  I felt mentally stronger, equipped to handle whatever challenge on my mind at the time.  When you have a sense of calm, you see things more rationally; you’re thinking isn’t as sporadic.  My self-talk was less fearful and more realistic.

Some people may not be physically able to visit a place of nature, or it may not be accessible.  However, one doesn’t have to be outside to appreciate nature’s benefits physically.  I’ve admired trees, clouds, sunlight, and rain from my window or just watched nature videos.  Of course, it’s not the same, but a person can still focus on something distracting from distress.  As well as experience the calming benefits of viewing nature.

Being in nature is one of the most practical forms of self-care a person experiencing betrayal trauma can do to clear one’s mind or relax.  Experiencing nature is a healthier option than overeating, drinking, shopping (all of which I have done), or other activities that don’t serve us well in the long term.  Unfortunately, most of us cannot get on a private jet and go to the islands when our storm gets bumpy.  We still have to work, clean the house, take care of our family, pay bills and honor our obligations.  We don’t get to post an “I am taking a time out; I just found out my partner is a sex addict-see you in a month.” sign in our yard.  Even if we could do that, would we?  Probably not.

It’s perfectly okay to be selfish with this tool.  My family knew not to disturb me if I was on the deck unless it was crucial.  They could expect me to re-enter the house calmer, happier, and more relaxed if they left me alone.  I was never on my deck longer than 45 minutes at a time, and I figured the family could survive while I took this time for myself.  I needed this time for mental, spiritual, and emotional health.  My deck is still my “refuge,” but I am not escaping chaos anymore.  I seek nature to clear my head, feel closer to God and reflect.  I like to walk the trails or my neighborhood when I want to change from my deck view.

There is plenty of research to support the benefits of experiencing nature.  According to St. Luke’s Health’s March 28th blog post, the mental health benefits of being in nature are, “Spending time in nature allows our brains to slow down and take everything in.  The outdoors improve mood, increase confidence and self-esteem, and help you feel more connected to your community and nature.  A study showed that spending just 120 minutes a week outside is associated with good health and well-being, and those two hours don’t need to be all at once.  Getting in nature can be as simple as taking short walks during work breaks, tending to a garden in your backyard throughout the week, or strolling through neighborhood green spaces in the evening.”

St. Luke also lists these benefits of experiencing nature:

Better Breathing

Improved Sleep

Reduced Depression

Motivation to Exercise

Mental Energy

Immune Health

Better Vision

Emotional Wellness

According to a May 2018 SAVA (Sexual Assault Victim Advocate ) article, there are three benefits nature plays in healing from trauma:

“Nature can help us to Ground – to feel rooted in our bodies and connected to our surroundings with present moment awareness.  When we develop the skills to Ground, we can transform powerful and traumatic emotions with mindfulness, allowing them to become productive and unstuck; when we’re grounded, we are able to touch into painful emotions and sensations without being overwhelmed.  However, trauma emotions stick in our body, and becoming unstuck from these emotions in a safe way requires us to be Grounded.

Nature can help us find our power.  Trauma is a thief of our personal power, and it is incredibly liberating to regain that power.  Nature provides us with opportunities and challenges that help us reconnect to our inner strength.  Whether finding the strength to complete a difficult challenge, discovering the patience and care to plant a garden, or feeling the safety in being in a natural place, nature has opportunities for powerful change.

Nature is an amazing teacher, full of metaphors and life lessons.  It is a vast and ever changing tapestry of plants and animals, water and fire, earth and sky.  Observing the how, what, when, where, and why of these changes often serves as a mirror to our own experiences in life, providing us with powerful insights on how we can grow and heal.  In nature, we’re reminded that painful experiences do not have to define the rest of our lives.”

For some people,  sitting in nature isn’t enough; they desire to do something in nature actively.  If that is you, the following outdoor activities may be more appealing (Consider trying a variety of activities):

Picnic

Watch sunrise/sunset

Grow a garden

Walk or bike

Exercise outdoors

Read

Talk on the phone

Eat

Enjoy warm or cold beverages outside

Take a work break outside

Complete a Coloring sheet

Enjoy a crafting activity

Paint your nails/toenails

Journaling

Yoga

Meditation

Stretch

If you are healing from betrayal trauma, I hope you will incorporate experiencing nature in your healing journey if you haven’t already.  Let nature be one of your “refuge” options for thinking, breathing, restoring, relaxing, and reflecting, especially if you are having a rough day.  If you choose to utilize this tool, notice how you feel; do you feel calmer, less stressed, or more relaxed?  Consider making time in nature a priority and schedule it if necessary.  I believe this investment of your time and effort will be worth the benefits.

Note: I would love to hear about tools you have found helpful on your healing journey for calm, restoration, and relaxation.