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Betrayed, Not Broken

Here partners of sex addicts receive support and affirmation as they make sense of recovery information that sometimes makes one feel worse, confused, and ashamed!

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Category: Gripes

This blog isn’t all sunshine and roses because the healing process isn’t. There were times in my process where things made me downright angry and still do at times. Comments in the media, shares from other people recovering, comments from sex addicts, the material I read, jokes I heard, statements made in church, and the list goes on and on. This section is where I get to share my gripes and one of the reasons I decided to begin a blog in the first place. I wanted to share my thoughts in a frank manner, even if they were negative. However, the purpose isn’t just to gripe; I wish to provoke thought, support, discussion, affirmation of your own struggle, or all of the above that honors where you are in your healing journey.

10 Posts
Nov 18, 2024November 19, 2024

There is no Magic Formula for his healing.

General Share, Gripes

I’ve witnessed many women come to support groups with one burning question, “What will it take to fix him so our life can get back to normal?”  Don’t we wish…

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Jun 25, 2024June 25, 2024

STUCK- a harsh reality of individual and couples healing impacted by sex addiction

General Share, Gripes

Do you ever feel stuck in your healing process? If you answered “yes,” please know it’s not uncommon.  Whether you feel stuck in your healing or your relationship with the…

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May 20, 2024May 19, 2024

The role of faith leadership when it comes to counseling others regarding betrayal trauma and sex addiction.

General Share, Gripes

The faith community can be the foundation for one’s healing from sex addiction or betrayal trauma, leading them to seek counsel from their pastors, preachers, clergy, cardinals, priestesses, bishop, rabbis, reverends,…

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Oct 17, 2023January 31, 2024

Gripe:

Gripes 2

You are not the addict’s accountability partner; say NO to “unhealthy dumps”!* *The addict is considered a male for simplicity, but I fully recognize that the addict can be a…

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Aug 22, 2023January 31, 2024

Triggers Suck

Gripes

I know the title is a little vulgar, but when I first decided to write this blog, I said I would be honest.  There is no other way I can…

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May 15, 2023May 16, 2023

The INSANITY of Sex Addiction

General Share, Gripes

When I first realized my husband was a sex addict, I bought many books, read all I could find online, and studied my materials from the groups I attended to…

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Mar 15, 2023

Gripe of the Month:  The SICKNESS excuse only goes so far!

Gripes 2

*I refer to the addict as a male in this post for consistency. One of the most complex components of sex addiction I had to grasp was accepting sexaholism as…

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Nov 10, 2022November 16, 2022

Gripe of the Month: Sex Addiction and Alcoholism are not the same!

Gripes

I try to post one “gripe” entry a month because betrayal trauma healing is not a bed of roses, and we dishonor those healing from betrayal trauma by not addressing…

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Aug 18, 2022August 17, 2022

HIS SHAMEFUL BEHAVIOR CAN BE YOUR BURDEN IF YOU CHOOSE TO CARRY IT.

Gripes

I focus on one aspect of the betrayal trauma healing process I find unenjoyable or unfair.  I do this because I rarely hear partners discuss these issues, but I know…

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Jul 25, 2022July 15, 2022

Does your sex addict have the mindset of an eager beaver, or is he still trying to drive the “relationship” car?–Pt. 2

Gripes 2

Last week we looked at the importance of the eager beaver mindset in sex addict versus the sex addict who doesn’t recognize his lazy approach to recovery is hurting the…

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I started this blog because I couldn't find a resource that validated what I felt when I learned my husband was a sex addict. All I wanted was frank talk, no definitions, recovery speech, or minimization of what I was feeling. I hope you feel validated, heard, and understood when reading my blog posts. I try not to give advice; I share my experience with each topic to provide partners of sex addicts hope for their healing from betrayal trauma. To learn more, please read the "My Story" tab at the top of this page. If you like what you see and find this blog helpful, please share it with others; no one should feel alone on this yucky journey. I would love to hear from you. Please contact me at joy@betrayednotbroken.com. Most importantly, please remember you deserve to give yourself the time to heal well from betrayal trauma.

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  • Hayley White on You can be INTENTIONAL in your healing. (Pt. 1)

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“Rock bottom became the solid foundation in which I rebuilt my life.”– J.K. Rowling

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Smiling

April Journaling Prompt:

 

 

 

What puts a smile on your face despite what you may be going through?

 

 

 

February Journal Prompt: List ten things you love about yourself and why.

February Self-care Challenge:  Spend at least one hour doing your hobby this month.  If you don’t have a hobby, this is the time to explore until you find one you enjoy.

 

May Journal Prompt:

How can you be easier on yourself this month as you continue to help from betrayal trauma?

Self-Care Challenge:

Make a list of ten affirmations you can say to yourself daily.

 

 

March Journal Prompt:

What do you appreciate the most thus far about your healing journey?

Self-care Challenge:

Do something this month that makes you smile.