Once a month, I will post my thoughts on tools that helped me in the past that I continue to use. This month I wanted to talk about a tool I still use that has been very helpful—BREATHING!
A good friend, who was ahead of me in my healing journey, told me I needed to focus on breathing. My friend swore by how helpful this had been for her in her healing journey. My friend knew I kept ruminating over what the future would look like and the painful information I knew about my husband’s past behavior. Sadly, I always struggled to stay in the present, and it seemed almost impossible when I was experiencing trauma which led to anxiety.
My friend helped me realize I could use this tool when in emotional distress. Once I started paying attention to my breath, I noticed I didn’t breathe when I was upset, So I took deep breaths and exhaled slowly. This simple action helped calm me down. I could feel my heart rate slowing down, and my anxiety would decrease.
Focusing on my breathing also helped me stay present with myself. I quickly realized I couldn’t concentrate on my breathing and ruminate over the past at the same time. When I focused on my breathing, no other intrusive thoughts got in the way. I also felt more present with myself because I was present with my breathing.
Before practicing breathing, I constantly thought about my husband’s stuff in the past, and I knew I couldn’t function like that. I repeatedly tried to figure out my next steps or ask myself how he did the things he did for so long. The problem was I wasn’t getting any answers, just tormenting myself and exhausting myself emotionally.
Focusing on my breathing was a deliberate alternative to the mental torture I was putting myself through. As simple as it sounds, concentrating on my breathing reminded me I was a living person, not just a victim with PTSD symptoms. There was more to me than what I was dealing with at the time; deliberate breathing helped me do that.
According to Healthline.com,” Rumination can be dangerous to your mental health, as it can prolong or intensify depression as well as impair your ability to think and process emotions.” Instead, it is suggested, “When you find yourself with a repeating loop of thoughts in your mind, seek out a quiet space. Sit down, breathe deeply, and focus on nothing but breathing.”
I still take time to breathe when I feel stressed, anxious or find myself experiencing an occasional trigger. I take four breaths in through my nose while filling my belly, which I imagine is a balloon, hold the breaths in on the count of four, then I exhale through my nose and count to four before I begin again; I like counting because it helps me stay focused on my breath. Sometimes I change it up and exhale through my mouth as well. This type of breathing is known as diaphragmatic breathing, abdominal breathing, belly breathing, or paced respiration. Most people do not breathe this way, so it takes practice.
According to Health.Harvard.edu, people tend to breathe shallow chest breaths, which can increase tension and anxiety. However, practicing this breathing slows the heart rate and lowers blood pressure. If you already do this, keep it up and share its benefits with those who may need it. If you have never tried this, let me encourage you to give it a try. It’s incredible how something so simple can offer so many benefits.
#BetrayedNotBroken